What is this feeling?

What is this feeling? A sensation of uneasiness in the area of my lower stomach… I can’t find the right word to describe it… sort of a tension… could be nervous energy… no, that’s not right… maybe I’m a little anxious? … I’m invited to explore what’s happening.

I choose some pastels… I’m drawn to the warmth of the yellowy reds and oranges… I start to move the colours tentatively around… a circle emerges… a fine dust builds up on the paper.

I move the dust around with my finger… I use my fingers to follow the circle and then my whole hand becomes involved… again and again… blending and smoothing… circular motions… small and centred… then larger… expanding… using my arm in wide movements that reverberate down through my body. 

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Around and around I circle… spreading out and then narrowing into the centre again… I circle and circle until the pastel dust dissolves… I notice the sensation in my stomach area has changed.

“What is this feeling?” I ask myself… “relaxed?”… no, that’s not it… “maybe calm?”… no… it’s like a spaciousness… an opening up… I like this new sensation.

I look at my hands and see a residue of pastel dust… my hands are stained… “How do I feel about that?”… feels good.  I notice an unusual sense of satisfaction as I look at the stain.IMG_6952

I have an impulse to light a candle in the centre of my circle… as I contemplate the flickering candle I notice I feel a warmth in the centre of my being.

My companion asks me how I am feeling in this moment… I feel a quiet strength simmering gently in that lower stomach area… a strength I’d like to amplify and take into the world.

I choose a plastic figurine that resonates with how I want to carry this sense of strength into the world… I place the figure in front of the candle… it feels right… although I am surprised by my choice…  my smile widens.

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embodied circle
strength and a lighted candle
found themselves within.

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